The Bible takes a clear, strong position on sexual sin and lust: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28, NASB). Jesus explained that we’re breaking God’s commandments if we so much as lust, let alone act out sinful sexual desires.

This provides a huge challenge in our day and age, with so much sexuality in movies, TV, and everyday life, and pornography so easily accessible via a Google search or so many other means. It seems safe to say that Christians in general, and Christian men in particular, all struggle with some form of sexual sin or temptation. The exact form varies, but it’s a huge issue.

Given that, I wanted highly recommend Heath Lambert’s excellent book Finally Free. This focuses on understanding the origins of sexual sin and temptation, with an emphasis on pornography in particular, and then providing what we need to overcome sexual sin. The approach deals with both theological issues and practical strategies. While the book’s emphasis is on pornography, the principles and strategies it provides are helpful more broadly. I found it extremely helpful myself, even though pornography hasn’t been my major struggle in this area.

I appreciate this book in part because of its Biblical perspective and balance. In my experience, Christians can go wrong in a couple of ways about this issue. One extreme treats pornography and sexual sin as so serious, and so terrible, that it becomes taboo and goes unmentioned and unconfessed. Perhaps a pastor will mention from the pulpit that people in the church struggle with pornography, but members might end up thinking, “Surely no one I know is doing that,” or “I’m alone in my struggles with this,” or similar things. So, folks end up without real help and support from other believers, exacerbating the problem.

Another extreme takes the attitude that we all are destined to continue sinning in this area, so for each of us, sexual sin will always be an ongoing struggle and one where we will never make real headway. Essentially, this becomes a sort of defeatism. Folks frequently confess their sins to one another, but sin is expected and taken as a matter of course. Practically, this view loses sight of the fact that, if we are Christians, we are no longer slaves to sin (Romans 6) and indeed, can now begin to have victory and overcome sin (e.g. 1 John 2:1). Instead of spurring one another on to love and good deeds, accountability groups just become confession and commiseration groups. This nearly encourages continued sin, or at least does little to offer hope and spur repentance and change.

Neither of these views is Biblical, and Finally Free strikes the right balance. It recognizes how difficult it is to deal with these sins, and how common they are, but it also highlights how we can really find victory in Christ. The gospel plays a central role in this book, and Lambert keeps connecting back to it. While the book does get very practical, the practical is always undergirded by a right view of Christ and where our power to change can come from.

Personally, I benefitted a great deal from this book not only from concrete strategies but from a better understanding of the origins of my own sin. I learned that I can often find the roots of my sin far before any specific sexual sin or temptation, with a selfishness and self-centeredness that creeps in far earlier. It’s helped me recognize how serious that is and begin trying to deal with those root sins rather than waiting til they rear their head outwardly. Additionally, it help me see more clearly that some ways I’ve tried to fight sin in the past, like focusing on its consequences, are just an attempt to substitute one sin for another. This results in a kind of spiritual whack-a-mole. I might succeed at reducing one specific outward manifestation of my selfishness, but it will show up somewhere else. The only solution is to attack the root issue, and this book has helped me do so more effectively.

If you’re a man and you struggle with sexual sin and temptation, I strongly recommend you carefully read Finally Free. Better yet, go through it with a group. Recognize your common struggles, but spur one another on to repentance and growth in Christ in this area.