I grew up in a very moral family, but not one where I learned Christian teaching as truth. I thought life was about being a good person. I grew up with at least some exposure to different religions, one of which was Christianity. I learned some of the basics of the Bible, but I thought Jesus was a good teacher, like all of those other guys - Buddha, Mohammed, Gandhi, and so on. Christianity was just one of many religions, all teaching about how to live a good life, I believed. God has made his existence plain through creation, so deep inside I knew that He existed, but I would not admit this. Rather, I argued that there was no way to know that God exists. I was one of those people who would tell Christians that they were wrong, that there was no God, or at the very least that there was no way to know for sure that there was. But, secretly, I knew He existed, but I remember this being almost a subconscious knowledge – one I wouldn’t admit to anyone, not even really to myself. At the same time, I grew up around a good number of professing Christians, partly because I was home-schooled and many others homeschool for religious reasons. If anything, though, this exacerbated my opposition to Christianity. I could easily see that many of these professing Christians did not live out their faith. Many of the “Christian” kids my age seemed less loving and moral than moral non-Christians, and they would lie to their parents about their interests and priorities. So, I thought that even if God did exist, I would be fine since I was living a more moral life than most of these people. Although I denied God’s existence and lived a selfish, self-centered life, I lived in an outwardly “moral” way. That is to say, my great sins were pride, arrogance, a sense of superiority, being a know-it-all, that sort of thing. As I entered college, I was beginning to grasp the emptiness of living a moral life. I had been taught that living a moral life was “better”. But, if there is no God, no real right and wrong, why not just live how I please? I was ready to start chasing my desires.

Praise God, not all the Christians I met were hypocrites. As I started college, at a junior college, I had some friends who professed to be Christians and seemed different. They cared about me more, it seemed, and their faith made a difference in their lives. They tried to live out what they believed. They didn’t share the gospel with me, but God used their lives to bring me to start reading the Bible to find out more. I didn’t necessarily understand everything, but I read a lot of it. I came to realize two things: the Bible is God’s word, and the Bible is true. I also realized that I deserved hell for my sins – I had broken God’s commandments in many ways including lying, coveting, and many others, and for these I deserved His punishment. However, when I realized this, I didn’t understand the gospel – the good news that God sent His son Jesus Christ to die so that I could be saved through his work on the cross. All I understood was that I deserved hell, but I found this terrifying and didn’t understand there was a way out, so I pushed the whole thing out of my mind and took solace in the prayer, “OUR Father…” Still, when I transferred to UC Davis to finish college, I decided to go to church to learn more. I went, and began hearing the gospel preached. It didn’t get through to me at first because I was still clinging to the idea that living a moral life was good enough. People began sharing with me that “all our righteous acts are like filthy rags”. This brought me to realize that I could never be good enough to deserve God’s favor. I needed a savior. The problem, it turned out, was not what I did so much as the condition of my heart. And, my heart was wicked, proud, and full of evil desires, and I was powerless to change it. It was only then that the gospel being preached began to have an impact and I came to trust in Christ and his work on the cross. I prayed to receive him as Lord and Savior, and repented of my sins. This was when I was a junior in college.

Since I was living an outwardly moral life, there wasn’t an immediate huge change in my life. I didn’t destroy a giant collection of music or stop going to wild parties or some such. Rather, the biggest change was in my heart and in my mind, my desires and my thoughts – I no longer valued the same things. Outward changes were more gradual. Since then, though, Christ has shaped the whole course of my life. I have the job I have because I want to serve God at UCI and be a light for the gospel here. I want to help college students understand the reasonableness of the Christian faith, and that there is no contradiction between science and faith. I sought to serve God in a similar way by becoming a professor in academia so I could help other college students also understand the reasonableness of our faith. In addition to shaping my career, God has directed my life and my priorities in every area. God shaped what I value in a spouse and so I married Maura, who is a huge blessing. We’ve decided how to educate our kids based on our faith. I could give countless other examples. But more importantly, I can have peace in Christ. I don’t have to think I am perfect or better than everyone else. Yes, God wants me to live a holy life. But he paid for my shortcomings, my sin, on the cross, and my acceptance doesn’t depend on how great I am but on his work. I still constantly need to be reminded of this truth, but it is the reason I am not constantly miserable. It’s also the reason that I can admit I do wrong when I sin. Praise God that I can have peace with him through Jesus Christ, and I do not have to rely on the splintered reed of my own works. So, overall, it isn’t that my life outwardly underwent a huge transformation when I turned to Christ, but its whole course was changed and redirected as a result of an internal change, and Christ is my only hope and delight now, which is so wonderful compared to leaning on my own works. Pride is still a struggle, but I know I can never find happiness and peace in having done well enough – because I don’t – and so it’s only to be found in Christ and what he has done.

As a science professor in a secular university, I often get asked about what that’s like and how it impacts my faith. I think people may expect a tension between science and faith, but I disagree. God created the universe and everything in it and about it, including the physical laws by which it operates. God authored His Word and His World, and reveals Himself through both. Correctly understood, then, there is no contradiction or tension between the two. However, our understanding is often lacking – we may not understand how best to fit the two together, or we may misunderstand the scientific evidence or a passage of Scripture. But a lack of understanding isn’t the same as a contradiction or inconsistency. Still, the world does reveal remarkable evidence of our creator God. I don’t have time to go at length into details here, but I would note that in my own area at the interface of physics, biology and chemistry, scientists often find themselves compelled to use the language of design. I often attend talks, especially in the areas of biophysics and molecular biology, where scientists speak of how and why a particular biological system was “designed” to work in a certain way. In fact, many productive research studies result from questions like, “Why does this biological system work in the way it does rather than in way X or way Y?” Often, the answer is that the way it works is better or more robust than alternative designs would have been. Scientists, even secular ones, thus often find themselves compelled to use the language of design, and I agree with them. Our big disagreement is over the nature of the designer; I see a world designed by our creator God. They see the designer as “Mother Nature” or “Evolution” but still speak of purposeful design.

Overall, then, my work in science only serves to strengthen my belief that God created the world and revealed Himself in his Word. I believe the Bible is true and seek to better know God both through studying His Word and through understanding his creation. The two work together, not against one another. Academia in general, however, tends to be an immensely secular place, and relatively outspoken against Christianity – especially the kind of Christianity that might make itself known publicly or influence anything other than one’s private religious practices and moral beliefs. In other words, the kind of Christianity the Bible teaches is unfashionable. However, academia’s opposition doesn’t make Christianity any less true. In fact, the same was true even in the early days of the church, when Paul told the Corinthians that not many of the so-called “wise” men of the time would believe the gospel (1 Cor. 1:26f).

For those who have specific science and faith questions, I’d be delighted to recommend books or other resources to help answer your questions, or talk with you more about such issues.