Some thoughts on family devotions, and some helpful materials
A while back, some of the dads from our church had a video call to discuss family devotions with kids, and to encourage one another in doing these. Today, I’m posting a summary of what we talked about, including some of the materials which were suggested, in case it’s helpful.
Some fundamentals before getting practical
The Bible makes clear that it’s crucial for parents to teach and train our children. Eph. 6:4 (NASB):
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
So we are to discipline and instruct our children in the way of the Lord. Thus fathers are given responsibility to train their children. Of course this usually involves mothers too, but fathers are given responsibility. The Old Testament makes this responsibility for us as parents to teach our children even more clear (Deut. 22:18-20, NASB):
You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates…
Again and again in the Old Testament we see how each generation must teach the next to know the Lord, or else he will quickly be forgotten and they will fall into idolatry. So, here, the people are exhorted to constantly be teaching, living out, and talking about the Word – not only at home but as they come and go, all throughout life.
The Proverbs also speak to this (22:6):
Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
So the principle is to train our children even from youth.
Why family devotions?
In our meeting, we talked briefly about a couple key ideas that I’ve found helpful in thinking about family devotions:
We’re doing this because God deserves our worship
We don’t do family devotions for ourselves or our kids only, but because God deserves our worship. That’s the central reason; he deserves the first and foremost place in our lives – not only at church but every day.
We do devotions to remind ourselves what He deserves
Family devotions are, partly, about teaching and reminding our children and families of what’s truly most important. It’s not being able to relax around a screen at the end of a long day, or togetherness, or a gourmet meal, or hanging out with friends. It’s God – he deserves our worship.
Keep it manageable
That said, life is busy and exhausting. I find that if I make too big a deal out of family devotions and make it something time-consuming which requires a lot of focus from everyone involved, we do it far less often. I find it best to keep it simple so I don’t find it too onerous and just not do it.
Build a regular habit of devotions
We built a regular habit of doing devotions at a specific time when our kids were small, and then found that if we got lazy and tried to skip, they would insist on it. Kids like routines and habits, and having them help hold you accountable to something you want to do anyway can be a great help. In other words, devotions may be difficult at first, but once you make it a habit it gets easier and is far easier to maintain.
Adapt to the ages and abilities of your kids
Don’t be afraid to touch on deep truths about God and Christ before kids can fully understand them, but do adapt what you do to the ages and abilities of your kids. Our kids range in age from 13 down to 3 and what we’ve done has had to change a lot over time. At the younger ages we’ve often ended up just reading a story Bible (and, as they get old enough to answer, asking a couple questions) and singing a song or two, but as they get older what we’ve done has varied far more.
Right now, because our kids are so diverse in age, our 3 year old gets her own devotions just before bed, then we do family devotions with the older kids (the youngest of whom is 6) at other times. Often, I read from the Bible to them at breakfast and briefly explain the text (all six are there for that, but it’s not geared towards the three year old) and, when possible, we go through devotional content in the evening and sing a couple of worship songs. The 3 year old is sometimes there for that, but often already asleep. Recently I finished going through The Ology by Machowski, which I like, and now I’m using the free app New City Catechism and going through the questions and summarizing some of the commentary, one question per day. So, we’re adapting, and trying to figure it out as we go. Not everything happens every day.
Connect to life
Sometimes the best teaching opportunities come outside the context of formal devotions. As we saw in the Deuteronomy passage:
…talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road
Sometimes the best opportunities come when least expected – maybe when driving, or when something goes wrong, or there is a conflict, or… In any case, we need to connect Scripture to everday life.
What different families do for family worship
I already explained above a bit about what we do, but some of the other folks in our call related their experiences:
- I mentioned a friend of mine who strongly prefers not to use any story or picture Bibles but just wants to get his kids immersed in the Bible from a very young age. I find picture/story Bibles helpful to keep our younger kids’ attention, but none are perfect – unlike the Scriptures – so I see his point.
- One family sings some songs, uses a children’s rhyme Bible, explains some details of the story, and ends with prayer, taking 10-15 minutes. The kids are younger, 2-5 or so.
- Another, with only one child under two, is working to build a habit – singing songs from children’s ministry and going over a story Bible. It’s very short.
- Another family with two kids (the older of whom is about 3 1/2) reads a Bible story, tries to explain it, and then prays. Sometimes they read a Psalm. Sometimes, the older child asks for “my daily Psalm” even if the parent who usually does it isn’t there.
- Another dad uses the Jesus Storybook Bible with his roughly two year old, but has been thinking about how scripture is God’s Word and how important it is to get into it early, so sometimes he just reads the Bible aloud while doing breakfast, etc. He also remarked how quickly the children learn memory verses.
Materials that people use:
None of us have found perfect materials; for myself, I find that I have to adjust/edit some of the content in almost everything I’ve used. Here are some of the resources which came up that people have found helpful or at least usable:
- The Big Picture Story Bible: A couple people mentioned and liked this one
- Everything a Child Should Know about God by Taylor; toddler-oriented. Sounds like it can be helpful, but may require some parental curation.
- New City Catechism, a free app which has something like 52 truths for kids to learn and memorize. It does have a “children’s mode” which makes the questions/answers simpler. For kids 6+ probably.
- Jesus Storybook Bible; some of the stories are longer, so it may not be that great for younger kids (4 and under)
- Rhyme Bible: A couple of us have used this; a plus is that it flows well and the kids enjoy it, but because of the rhythm it may not be as great for retention and isn’t that focused on a quality telling of the stories. I believe this edition may be the updated version.
There are some other materials we’ve used over the years; I’ll only list those which I either really liked or found at least somewhat helpful. There are some other children’s story Bibles that I really ended up using only for the pictures, and I won’t list those:
- For systematic study (not for younger kids):
- Long Story Short: A really well done overview of the Bible for kids
- Old Story New: From the same author, a well done Old Testament survey for kids.
- The Ology: Concise but well done “theological” summary covering a lot of the key bases. Probably best for kids 6 and up.
- Story Bibles:
- 101 Favorite Stories from the Bible: Reasonably detailed one-page explanations of Bible stories with quality full-page illustrations and references to key texts
- Jesus Storybook Bible: Very gospel-oriented, works to show how every story connects to Christ. Stories can be a bit longer — maybe 6-10 (short) pages each, perhaps about 20 on each of OT and NT. Explanations are not great, but very gospel centric. Illustrations are a bit cartoon-y. Content is very good though, especially the gospel connections; stories can sometimes have a bit too much interpretation for my taste. Still, one of the best I’ve used.
- Children’s Illustrated Bible: Almost a study format – has a two page spread on each story, with margin explanations/illustrations teaching about things that come up in the story. Covers maybe 100 stories. Illustrations are good, references original texts, content reasonable. I don’t like the layout that much (perhaps too busy) but it’s pretty good.
- Other:
- My younger kids (3-11) love the “Power Bible” cartoon Bible stories. For kids who are not yet great readers but love graphic novels, this ten-volume series is sort of a gateway. I couldn’t figure out why my seven-year-old was asking me questions about Paul’s second missionary journey for a while until I found out he’d been reading about details of it in one of these.
It seems Machowski, who did Long Story Short and Old Story New and The Ology, also has a “Gospel Story Bible” I haven’t seen yet. Has anyone used it?
Other observations
It helps to ask questions and engage with the kids; if you read something, try and ask questions about it afterwards as it helps with retention. Also, we often find there are profound personal applications of the “simple” spiritual truths presented in children’s books.
Also, in our case, our church has a great children’s ministry and is already doing a lot with our kids. Thus, it can be great to start by just reviewing and building on what the education department is already doing with our kids.
Share your thoughts
Please use the comments section to recommend other materials you use which are helpful or to share your thoughts on what has worked well or doesn’t work well.