I’ve been trying to build a habit where I reflect, mid-week, on the Sunday sermon so that it will stick with me better and I’ll benefit more. This week, I realized I could better reinforce that habit by writing about it as well, since writing about something helps me get even more out of it. So today marks the first in what I hope will be a weekly series of posts about Sunday sermons from my church, Berean Community Church.

In this series, I won’t typically summarize the whole sermon, as the sermons are available online and you’re free to watch them. Perhaps I’ll touch on some of the main points, but my focus here is on how I was personally challenged by the sermons or what I think God wants me to take away from them. So, don’t look to these for a summary of what you ought to take away from it – though obviously I don’t object if you’re challenged by the content too.

Jesus as the Bread of Life

With the reshaping of our worship services that came with COVID-19, our pastor, Peter Kim, recently began a series on the “I am” statements of Jesus. This Sunday, March 29, he spoke on “I am the bread of life” from John 6, and especially from verses 32-36. Here, after the feeding of the five thousand, many followed Jesus but Jesus ultimately rebuked them for doing so. He said, essentially, that they were after the bread rather than after him. And some wanted to make him king. They saw him as a means to an end, a way to accomplish their goals, rather than the end or goal itself. But one doesn’t do that with a king. A king is not a servant; we serve a king. So the big challenge was this, in part: Are we trying to force Christ to do what we want, to be what we want? Yes, we reject the “health and wealth” gospel as a whole, but there’s still the temptation to see Christ as a way to accomplish our goals.

Last week, we heard about God as the “I AM” – the one who created all things, the one who rules, the one who is self-existent and eternal. That’s our goal, through Jesus – not accomplishing what we want in this life or having the type of life we want. Or at least, it ought to be.

I began to examine myself and ask where I might be doing this, seeing Jesus as a means rather than an end. And I think it shows up in far more places in my life than I’d like. Our pastor mentioned how we might think that if we worship Jesus, our children will be happy, healthy, marry a godly spouse, and grow up to have great lives. And that attitude can sneak in as well. I suppose I pretty it up by telling myself I’m not thinking that FOLLOWING to Jesus will result in such success – rather, I follow him anyway, but by praying, living a holy life, etc., I help ensure their success. But still, it’s the same thing: I have a goal in mind (though a good one) and I’m see Jesus at least partly as a means to that goal. So I have to repent of this; Jesus is the highest goal, and my relationship with him must be first and foremost.

I also took stock of some of my other goals, and realized there are other areas where I can also see him as a means. Particularly, I want to be useful, make a difference, and have what I do matter. Those can be motivated by pride, but apart from that they are probably good goals, especially to the extent that I seek to matter by serving God – but am I more interested in achieving these goals than in Christ himself? Am I seeking God in order to help me make a difference, or because he’s the highest goal of all? Making a difference must be a byproduct, a result of my relationship with God, not something that I seek in itself. So how does my prayer life look? Am I seeking God himself and then praying for my brothers and sisters in Christ? Or am I seeking God to try and get him to help me make a difference and matter? Am I willing to NOT matter if that’s what God wants?

So I need to repent of false hopes, and pursue Christ himself more. Truly he is the greatest, and I know all of these other hopes are of no real and lasting value. Indeed, I can join with Simon Peter in saying, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” He believed, though his understanding was lacking – and I believe, too, but Lord, help my unbelief. I need God to help me recognize when I begin to look to other things rather than going to him. May Christ be exalted in me – not because then I will matter, or then my family will prosper, but because he is the great king, worthy of all honor, and in being with him I find true joy.